A much needed good-bye

After three years and 329 posts this blog has come to an end. I would like to thank all of you for following me! I'm very grateful because you were the ones who kept this thing alive. Ladies, you are the best!
I start a new blogging adventure here. Check it out, you might like it!
xoxo, Monika

a fresh start (lamest title ever)

via

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to share your opinion with strangers than with people whom you personally know? It's one of the strange effects of the digital society we're living in today, I guess. 


Facebook, twitter, blogger, tumblr, etc. all provide us a platform to create a fake/desired image of ourselves. Of course everyone wants to be liked (both in the old-fashioned sense of the word and in facebook terms) so I don't blame anyone.  It's human nature and no social networking website will ever change it.


According to Merriam-Webster 'a blog is a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments and often hyperlinks provided by the writer'.


Personal journal. I like the idea. I intend to turn this blog into one. I want to create rather than merely duplicate content. 

I want my digital self to be as close to my real self as possible. I want to take the responsibility for what I'm doing here, which gets us back to my initial thought. People who know me in real life sometimes comment on something they see on my blog stating that 'it's so not you'. And they may be right.

So from now on this blog will be 'so me'. 

Still interested?

ps. Just told my husband how hard it was to write this first post after that long hiatus. He suggested to write 'hi, everyone, I'm back'. He always makes me realize that I'm the one making my own life so complicated.

things i like: still from the dark(ish) side

J-Crew collection



Jen Mankins's home in Brooklyn Magazine...



Bittersweet thoughts of depressed female writers...



Rooftop parties with friends, music, lights...



An old campaign that is more appropriate than ever...



Bicycles and basically her whole outfit via here...



The thrid issue of Gentlewoman is a surprisingly good read and it makes me want to order the first two issues, too...



This extraordinarily decadent converted mill...

Keep The Streets Empty For Me from Fever Ray on Vimeo

Beutiful songs....

I heart black

Black, you are the most wonderful color ever!


via an afternoon with


via in scientia veritas


via in scientia veritas


scarves from zara


via tomboy style

interiors I do not hate completely

Actually I wanted to quit blogging temporarily until my nice side returns, but I fear that it would take a long time.

To be honest I have hardly saved any nice rooms to my inspiration folder lately.

I am kind of bored with everything I see.

Anyways, here is a selection of rooms that I do not hate completely.

click on the photos to go to their sources

Also check out this tumblr in scientia veritas, in arte honestas

dull vs. understated

NY Times has recently featured musician Moby's house, a rather modern and minimalist home clearly influenced by its owner's personality. At least this is what I think and this is why comments like 'soulless, boring and impersonal' made me think about simplicity once again.

Some of my most determined readers must be familiar with my journey of 'finding my real self' which caused me a lot of headache. Right now I am closer to accept that I am an understated person than I was a couple of weeks ago, but I still fear that my understatedness is perceived as being boring/dull/soulless, etc.

Just like in Moby's case. Although I am not sure if he is responsible for the décor, I think it fits him very well. (Let's not discuss the building itself now because that would be a completely different story.) The surrounding nature was successfully 'brought inside' which is all positive in my book.

There are objects in every room which I think tell a lot about the person who owns them. They may not be too 'over the top', but they add a personal touch anyway.

I also believe that creative people always have so many things going on in their head that they can find true comfort in paired-down spaces. Sometimes all you need is a guitar, right? Or a typewriter or a piece of paper and a pencil...

Clearly Moby has his own issues (read the article if you are interested) and I think a home like this can have a truly healing and soothing power on a wounded soul. It allows to breathe, to think freely and to shine through. Because this is what homes are for.

all photos by Trevor Tondro for The New York Times

easter in france no.2

next destination: strasbourg

an utterly beautiful, vivid city with a charming historic downtown and a good laid-back french atmosphere

just lovely!

easter in france no. 1

first destination: colmar, alsace, france

it was like a fairy-tale...
I am in love with france more than ever...

great rooms does not happen overnight

Undecorate has become my bible of decorating lately. I really love the philosophy behind the book since I have always advocated the importance of withstanding trends and creating a HOME simply, slowly and from the heart. The most important message of this book for me is to be patient which is not exactly my strength, but I am working on it. The following rooms are great examples for this kind of design evolution. I mean, look at them. They are not the result of an instant makeover or a weekend decorating project. One can feel that these rooms have been created slowly by adding objects that are really meaningful to their owners one-by-one. These objects may be acquired in many years, but this is exactly what makes these rooms look loved, effortless and personal. And to keep them cohesive it is important to know yourself, to know what you like and what works for you. And if you stay true to yourself you will have a HOME you can really cherish. photo by michael mundy

via emmas blogg

via emmas blogg

via remodelista

new blog love: tomboy style

Tomboy Style is an amazing, inspirational blog written by Lizzie Garrett. I promised myself not to label myself anymore, but I have to say I can totally relate to tomboy style. I never wear heels/dresses/skirts/jewelry. Like never. I always buy some of them, but they end up in the bottom drawer of my closet. Unused. And I have always had an admiration for men's style. The blog showcases examples of woman from Audrey Hepburn to Audrey Tatou sporting great tomboy style. Actually every woman whose style I admire are included: Diane Keaton, Francoise Hardy, Emanuelle Alt, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stella McCartney or Sofia Coppola. I really enjoy the snapshots from movies (remember Meryl Streep in Out of Africa?) and the uniform ideas. But I guess what I most like about this whole tomboy thing that it suggests a lifestyle. Tomboys always seem to do great stuff, like sailing, horseriding, playing music, shooting, camping and enjoying life in general. And Lizzie says that Tomboy Style will be published as a book. I can not wait having it on my bookshelf!

help! my son is six

kiss me, kiss me by bill owens

Do not get me wrong, I am really proud of Marci. We always get great feedback from the kindergarten teacher, he has a lot of friends, he is extremely creative and very popular among girls :-) However, I can not help but feel that we have arrived to another milestone on the road of independence.

What drives me crazy is that I have no idea what is going on in his head. It was so much easier when he was driven by basic instincts only. But now things are not only black and white anymore, and I sense that it makes him (and us) confused.

Another change is that he is not smiling all the time contrary to his little brother (currently 4). He often looks bored and distant. He does not respond to our jokes and he even comments that they are not funny. Honesty rulez!

He has also become quite sensitive and receptive as far as social issues are concerned. He is really surprised when he experiences something mean from other kids and I can see how much he contemplates about these things.

'It is easier until they have only stomach ache. Heartache is much more difficult to cure' - someone told me this when he was a small baby and I could not agree anymore.

***

Magyar fordítás:

Segítség! A kisfiam 6 éves

Ne értsetek fére, nagyon büszkék vagyunk Marcira. Az óvó néni mindig jókat mond róla, sok barátja van, nagyon kreatív és a lányok között is népszerű :-) De nem tudom elhessegetni a gondolatot, hogy újabb mérföldkőhöz értünk a függetlenedés útján.

Ami az őrületbe kerget az az, hogy úgy érzem, nem tudom, mi jár a fejében. Sokkal egyszerűbb volt, amíg csak az alapvető ösztönei vezérelték. Most viszont már nem csak fekete és fehér van, ami őt is és minket is zavar.

A másik fontos változás, hogy már nem mosolyog állandóan (ellentétben Danival). Gyakran unottnak tűnik és olyannak, mint aki gondolatban messze jár. Nem értékeli már a buta kis vicceinket, sőt mondja is, hogy nem viccesek. Éljen az őszinteség!

A gyerekekkel való kapcsolatában érzékenyebb lett, és egyre inkább magára veszi, ha valaki valami gonoszat csinál. Általában meglepik ezek a dolgok, és sokat töpreng rajtuk.

'Addig egyszerű, amíg csak a hasuk fáj. Ha már a szívük is, azon sokkal nehezebb segíteni'- mondta nekem valaki, amikor Marci még kisbaba volt. Teljes szívemből egyetértek.

be careful with what you wish because it might come true

... or something like this is what I have gone through since this post and the whole 'finding my real SELF' journey.

What had seemed to be a rather light, carefree and fun experiment turned into 2 weeks of depression.

Without further ado I share my two words with you: 80% understated, 20% elemental. I do not have the book with me right now, so I can not tell you the exact definitions, but I think you get the idea.

I like my 20%. Elemental is great, it is about philosophy, learning, thinking, searching for reasons, being down-to-earth, loving both art and science, finding comfort in the very basics of nature. This is what supposed to differentiate me and move me forward. I am more than OK with that.

But there is the other 80%. My main characteristic that should define everything I do. That is my SELF, I do everything with this in my mind. This is what defines me. And no matter how nicely the authors of this book put it emphasizing the positive side of it, an understated person can not achieve anything in today's world. I can see it. I live and work in a highly competitive international environment. ASSERTIVE was the first word I learnt when I started working in Brussels. If you are understated, you are a nobody. And because I do everything in this spirit, I will probably turn my kids into understated people which would be the last thing I want...

I have been thinking about questions like these a lot and very slowly the little pieces of my life start come together again. I do not really know what to do with these discoveries about myself... I kinda think that I was happier when I was more detached from myself. But maybe that was only ignorance.

This is my very last post about my SELF. I will not bother you with this anymore.

decorating never should be intentional

Decorating never should be intentional. Your home should change as you change. Let it evolve and transform slowly and carefully. Add things you like one-by-one and your home will start reflecting your SELF. Never force anything. Allow only things into your home that come to you naturally. That you feel comfortable with. YOU are the king of your home. You can do whatever you want. Let your home be the place that nurtures YOU emotionally, physically and intellectually. all photos - via the absolutely amazing OLD CHUM - are linked to their sources

style statement - finding my own voice #2

OMG, what a journey! I have just finished the book and I have found my TWO words!! It was a great experience and let me just tell you that the result was not obvious at all. It was unexpected, eye-opening and liberating.
But,
I will keep my mouth shut and go step-by-step.

DOMAIN#2: FASHION&SENSUALITY

I have found two images which encompass what I like about fashion.
Or the lack of it.

I choose them because they are simple, timeless, classic, unfussy, understated, colorless, easy-going, laid-back.

Some brands and online stores I visit often:
*I like Toast for its effortless chic.
*I like Totokaelo and La Garconne for their simple styling, clean lines, muted colors and moderate accessorizing.
*I like Levi's Made and Crafted for their comfort and ease.

My favorite things to wear:

Bootcut Denim by Levi's
Athletic Shoes by Converse

Levi's bootcut jeans: good-quality, easy-to-wear, universal.

Basic black and white tees: comfortable, unfussy, does not require too much thinking.

Ray-Ban wayfarers: to hide me.

Simple gold jewellery: pyramid studs and a simple chain bracelet I never take off. Simple but noble. Easy. Laid-back.

Parka coat: comfortable, practical, go-anywhere, utilitarian.

Animal print scarf: classy, timeless.

White shirt: uniform, clear.

Converse: comfortable, easy-to-wear, casual.

Tweed jacket: classy, conform, established.

Good-quality cotton underwear: to make me feel safe.

Leather backpack: again easy, practical, comfortable.

What really surprised me here is that I realized that I do not like trends at all. I have always thought that I am addicted to fashion, but it looks like I try to avoid everything trendy. Now, I already know why...

Also the things I do not like tell a lot about me: fussy, complicated, quirky, bold, striking, eye-catching, show-stopper, sexy, heels, pearls, oversized, dresses, skirts, statement, IT-bag, ladylike, unique, one of a kind